Broken Timelines

It’s moments like these where words fall apart
Where memories become littered with flashbacks to where this started

Kitchen,
Monday night
You brought out the boxes and said it was time for me to go

You said there was no coming back from this
Tuesday night,
Front porch

I sat there waiting

It’s moments like those where worlds fall apart
Where memories feel like yesterday and the tears start to roll

Bedroom,
Sunday morning
I started yelling about how I felt left alone

You said what loneliness have I given you?
Saturday night
Bathroom

I sat there crying

It’s moments like those where hearts start to beat more than normal
Where memories are thrown away for favor of feeling whole while being empty

But as I pack my stuff away
Thursday afternoon
Basement

It’s moments like those where hearts stop beating
Where memories are held on to one last time

My Hat (Complete Re-Write)

My hat is hung on the stray bullets that barely missed,
Some attempt it was to end my life
You won’t ever find me waiting again

The kids who waited for you to come back and make this broken place
A functional home
The wallpaper we placed to make it feel less empty
And those kids are still waiting

My hat is hung on the moments I left behind,
Some attempt I made to fix my mistakes as they were happening
You won’t ever find me waiting again

The arms stayed waiting for you to come back and make this broken body
A safer place to stay
And the wallpaper we placed to make it look less empty
And those moments lay to waste forever

My hat is hung on the footpath you used to walk
Some attempt it was to lead me home
You won’t ever find me waiting again

The windows are now closed
We’ve let new strangers in
And poured our medicine to our veins
And we waited

My hat is hung on the same coat rack you got me last Christmas
Some attempt I made to come back home
You won’t ever find me waiting again

The doors have new locks
A harder place to find
And the floors are made of stone
And I laid on them trying to find their warmth

My hat is hung in your closet
Some attempt you made when I came back home
Where I found you waiting to be found

Our Senses

Breathe,

Tell yourself it wasn’t your fault
Tell yourself the fire was started by someone you’ve never seen before

Blind man, hold these matches while my gasoline covers you in warmth
And from the ashes your eyes will open

Breathe

Tell them it was their fault
Tell them you saw them start the fire

Deaf man, you could never hear the blind mans screams
And from his ashes your ears will pick up the faintest sounds

Breathe

Tell them it was my fault
Tell them I started the fire

Mute man, say these words and they will set you free
And from that moment on never speak of this day again

In the Balance

Left to our own devices,
We lay our hearts embedded

It can be hard enough to trust someone with something so rare
Like skating through soapy waters
And only have one hand to hold your balance

My heart hung in the balance
The difference between us again
And I’m scared you’ll fall for me this time

And I’m scared of falling for you
The difference between us again
Is the balance is hung in my heart

Balance your one hand and only have one hand to hold
Waters like skating through will take us away
Rarely, to trust someone with something so hard

Embedded hearts laid across our one hand
On the left is our common devices

The Progression of an End

There are so many things wrong today,
The summer heat has lifted away
The leaves are getting ready to change their ways
Falling down

Ambulances keep running down my street,
People never seem to always be perfect
And the crowds join hands in their phones
Just to record the moment instead of living in it

The wind keeps pushing me away
The sun keeps setting sooner
I’m not a fan of things coming to an end

Fire trucks are blocking our view
Men keep pushing us back
Saying it’s not safe for us to be there in that moment
And I’ve never been more sure of my safety

There are so many things wrong today
One girl killed another just because of a boy
Just because she wanted him more
And now they’ll never have him

And police cars are stopping us in our tracks
Saying it’s time for us to turn around
That there is nothing left to see here
And I’ve never been so sure of my eyes

The snow keeps kissing the cement like a familiar stranger
The cold keeps me warm from my freezing
I’m not a fan of being frozen

My Hat (Original Version)

My hat is hung on the stray bullets that barely missed,
Swerved just left and saved a kid
Had her feet collided with me we would’ve been gone, that’s for sure
Then I hung my hat on the stray bullets that missed her

If you think about it, you’ll break your own heart
And at times like those, it pays to be heartless
My way home doesn’t look the same now,
Now that my memories are dirtied by the clips

My hat is hung on the stray bullets of a mad man,
Suspended in time, waiting while we watch
Hours pass us by in just seconds, as they were spent in chambers
Then I hung my hat on the stray bullets of a dead man

Our words crossed out the moments they fell
And at times like those, it paid to be helpless
My way to the back, pushing through the still
Now I fear memories that were dirtied by the clips

The Misunderstanding of Making Progress

We’d fight to be fought,
Learn to live to be forgot
Right where these are hands,
These are what’s holding us still
Because this is night without the sun until

Our levels are higher than they’ve ever been
But until you are here, I am lonely until then

They say I’m going crazy trying to become normal,
But normal is just a crazed conviction of state

The misunderstanding of making progress
In times of not making enough to get by
At times it’s enough to me more than I ever had
You
The needle in the haystack
But with sharp eyes, I finally found myself
Missing the point you always made
That we were fit to make this

Progress isn’t where you are,
It’s who you’ve been

The Walls We Are #3

Stay and put,
As we stare at our coverings – painted;
Changed

Through their eyes we are in need of change
With water has brought on our decay
In places – we’ve stayed in ours for far too long

Remember being young?
Bare naked,
Handled by hands whom held so many others?

Those nights we got nailed and plastered but then so quickly abandoned
We sat as others passed us by
Before anyone ever took us for granted again

They dressed us with our coverings,
They added still moments while living in the moments
Now, as she pushes her hands on my chest,
I remember that I am only just the walls

I don’t put the roof over her head nor am I the foundation that keeps us from falling apart,
I keep the wind off her back and in a day she could tear me up and replace me

She could change my coverings and I wouldn’t be the wiser
But as long as she can lean on me I can feel like an important part of the home

Strings

I’ve spent a lot more time driving,
Took the wrong road down to healing
Just trying to hide from my ghosts
Looking for the coast that I’ve never seen

We stood attached to balloons in masses,
Let go of our cultures classes
We took a stand for our children,
As we stood on graves of others

We won’t ever attend each others funerals,
As ten years have passed and the barrels still say construction,
I’ve been on this for far to long and I’ve never seen an exit
Just to let me turn around on me letting you down

I’ve spent a lot more time driving,
Took the long road back to home
Just to find you holding a balloon
Let go as my time approaches

We will never fly,
Despite what my dreams keep telling me
There is no strings, but gravity keeps getting to me
And my equal space tells me we are both the same

We tear at each other with rope,
Expecting to get up off the ground
I’ve been at this for years, and the simple thought of tape
Let go of the hands that you can never stop

I’ve spent a lot more time thinking about this than you have,
Took the wrong clocks with me wherever I went
Just to find I was always where I should’ve been
Let go of all the memories

Softly tied to spend more time letting go
Done the hard way

One Last Time

This isn’t goodbye forever,
Just goodbye for now
But I’ll probably never write another line about how I’m hurt and broken
How badly I sit on my words and I’m badly choking
Wanting to tell the world how I’ve been finding words that can’t be spoken

If I ever wrote about you,
I’m sorry
If I ever said a bad thing,
I’m sorry

I went through hell trying to find my way up
I was just looking for my sidekick
Unless a lot of dudes I was never looking for my side chick
Just someone to love and never let go
But there’s so much pain I had I just didn’t know

And I’d sit down with some pen and paper
Thinking about how can’t believe her
Breaking it off after a week or a month and even a year
How I thought they had it easy and didn’t shed a tear

And I thought I could show the world just how terrible you really were
How you’d leave a man without a single care
And I never looked through their eyes
They were probably more torn up than I

How would I know?
I’d wait around for the message to come
The “I’m so sorry, I’m a monster”
But I refused to look in the mirror
Because I wasn’t a man, just a boy in fear

So I’m sorry to every friendship I ever lost,
To every burned bridge
And the collapsed tunnels
I just wanted you to know I cared

This isn’t goodbye but I’m done writing
I want to live a happy life without fighting
I wanted to save the world
But I lived my life sleeping on the moon

If I ever wrote about you then you somehow mattered
Even for a minute or two
My mind circled around you