One Last Time

This isn’t goodbye forever,
Just goodbye for now
But I’ll probably never write another line about how I’m hurt and broken
How badly I sit on my words and I’m badly choking
Wanting to tell the world how I’ve been finding words that can’t be spoken

If I ever wrote about you,
I’m sorry
If I ever said a bad thing,
I’m sorry

I went through hell trying to find my way up
I was just looking for my sidekick
Unless a lot of dudes I was never looking for my side chick
Just someone to love and never let go
But there’s so much pain I had I just didn’t know

And I’d sit down with some pen and paper
Thinking about how can’t believe her
Breaking it off after a week or a month and even a year
How I thought they had it easy and didn’t shed a tear

And I thought I could show the world just how terrible you really were
How you’d leave a man without a single care
And I never looked through their eyes
They were probably more torn up than I

How would I know?
I’d wait around for the message to come
The “I’m so sorry, I’m a monster”
But I refused to look in the mirror
Because I wasn’t a man, just a boy in fear

So I’m sorry to every friendship I ever lost,
To every burned bridge
And the collapsed tunnels
I just wanted you to know I cared

This isn’t goodbye but I’m done writing
I want to live a happy life without fighting
I wanted to save the world
But I lived my life sleeping on the moon

If I ever wrote about you then you somehow mattered
Even for a minute or two
My mind circled around you

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