Drowning Upward

forget about the point of the city
past the city streets, down a few dirt roads
while the world is asleep, the nightlife comes alive

past the trees, down a few side trails,
it’s hard to remember that we’ve come this far
while the world is asleep, the nightlife comes alive

forget about the countryside,
it’s harder to see the point of the city
while you are lost in the sea in the sky

I wish I could get an answer to my inner thoughts,
what’s it like up there, if it exists?
drowning upward in lust, I’m losing it all

this is not what I recall anymore
vague memories of a time where I was lighter
all I know to be real is far gone

in the brisk seconds I had left on the ground
I overlooked an entire ocean
losing a will for words, I buckle under the current

they say we all land here,
like passing fishes on the shore,
there is no swimming back home

no one can judge me,
except for you
but I was human, not a saint

I started this journey drowning upward
but in the end of it all,
I was floating down to earth

You Can’t Drink Beer In Moderation Without Paying Attention To Detail

if gravity quits, than so will I
never backing down from the battlefield
if the world stops spinning, I will land against your body
never falling off the horse means never learning any lessons

you can’t drink beer tonight
you can’t drink beer tonight
if you wanted to breathe it all in, you’d be drowning in alcohol
if you wanted to drink it all, you’d be spinning in alcohol

nobody reads what I have to say anymore
so I guess it’s safe to say whatever I want
I miss the scent of her clothing
at least she cared about what I had to say

if this is on the house, I’m having another keg
you can drink until you puke, but you have to drink slowly
watch the world spin around you and all you hear is
the sound of everyone else’s life go forward

who’s to say life’s not fair?
we all must go through it all though
I march forward tonight so I look through your window
hoping I can clear it all up with you

back when I had a heart
I use to let girls like you tear me apart
back when I was young
I use to let demons like you get to my heart

well I still am drunk off your bottle of hope
sticking around for the chances of slipping up with you
you are my after party
but you can’t drink beer in moderation without paying for it

you tell me to put my best foot forward,
you obviously forget I’m crippled by your absence
you keep running away
you keep running to someone else

am I still without life?
I Sleep In Rags hoping for you to keep me spinning
I can be your broken top
or your spilled beer on your favorite shirt

Like The Moon

the most beautiful thing you’ve ever said
in a conversation that never started
you are the baby girl I’ve never had
you have eyes like the moon

pull me, pull me
if you keep coming closer I will become blinded
the way your hips move have me in a killer dance vibe

pull me, pull me
if you keeping going down, you might get stuck in worse position
than I have been in

in a conversation of desperations
you told me you were desperate for my attention
so gun ho you have me at attention
if you keep staring at me, like the moon

push me, push me
so far away I will not be able to breathe
let me stay in space so I can be light headed

push me, push me
so far to say, I will never be seen again
I love girls with colored hair so light brown

in a conversations awkward moment
I realized we all have a hidden side
one so dark no light can even be found
two sided coins like you are the moon

That Conspicuous Something

blow your numbers on the screen
wind up somewhere you don’t belong
know where you came from

blow your numbers on this ticket
wind up winning a free trip to somewhere new
know who you were becoming

blow your numbers on the daily four
wind up lower in your social class
know that it was not worth coming

blow your numbers on your telephone
wind up speechless talking about your whole life
know that you can go where you need to

that conspicuous something waving out the door
thought home was replacable
well that though was wasted on the kitchen floor

blow up your lover to size her down
wind up with your lover with one size less
know that your lover was going to leave

I placed you in my life
I placed you in my time
I placed you in my trash

you know what color your bags are
and how much luggage you carry around
me and my self confidence will carry around our own body

are you understanding?
over the mountain you created
forget about what  I promised

about the late night fights
me and my self confidence will get over it
because you have your own ego to conquer

I am not leaving town tonight,
am I leaving for good?
done like burnt toast

yes, I am going to be gone for a while

Restart My Heart

well we both know I’m worthless
I’m pointless
I’m the bow facing tide
nothing can uncover me as I will eventually make away
the pathetic part is the most important
she calls concerned
I’m not giving up
I’m simply facing my fate
and if I never said it once, I will say it now
I’m not the man I should have been
if you breakaway
the bullet of life will shred the moments from the perspective
I hope this made you see me as the guy who fell laying
the timing is five past previously
so carry on pretty faces
you never cared in the first place
restart my heart for the bonus

Becoming Rich In The Taste of A New Year

swiftly they called it swinging
motion sickness acquired laying in a graveyard
the lay of the land cuts off right before you
so you called him the reason
well I will call him the reason, why you will never be happy
moving through molasses, survival tactics, breathe in and forget
becoming rich in the time now among you
becoming rich in the time now ending you
oh I don’t care technically how to spell it out
oh I don’t know well enough the way you move
and I could never smell you enough from across the room
the book’s binding kept
the pages of romance together forcibly
but the pages screamed “oh how can you sleep? oh how can you breathe?”
there is no taste quite like you
there is not time wasted on you
marvel on the keyword
next to you lays a son of a bitch who doesn’t
give a fuck anymore
because you don’t give a fuck anymore
now is time to swear in tears,
move squirrel before I run you over
move slut before I mow you down
there is nothing left for me
there is nothing left
there is nothing
there is only you
forgive the vile in the marquee
but how else am I supposed to put her out?
who better than the stench that violates the air?
better you than me
and I will take her with me to the pawn shop tonight
so I can fucking go home empty handed

Forget I Ever…

Last year, I was really into my vision for The Paper Heart, but it never came out like I wanted. Yes it is available to buy online but I want to really do what I had wanted.
So here’s what I am going to do; all the poems of the 08-09 years, sorted out by topics [most likely Love and Relationships] a breakdown on my favorite poems and the lesser ones, what I didn’t like about them.
If you like this idea, reply and let me know. For now, I am titling it “Forget I Ever…”
Most likely I am going to make the cover art be “the bird”

In Rockets, In Space

to answer you questions
I never closed the door
the author writes slowly
vague periods pronounce sadly
I never let you go and you never left
there is a capital here for you to see yourself fit
the journeys of my life have taken me farther than I’d rather see
places I’d never go to hurt those who I’d rather be
I saw the opportunity to meet fists, hearts and brains
if it seemed like I stopped caring about you
the mad trickster got to you
the bad news is I am still right here
the bad news is I am still not there
the bad news is I am still not right
where do I go from here?
In Rockets, I will steal the heart straight from the dragon
In Space, I will steal the wind you pushed me away with
there was no time left in this reality
if I could go back I wouldn’t
I stopped counting bodies before you
those I’ve hurt may be limited but until tomorrow ceases to exist
my greatest creation may just be the idea of you somehow fitting in
the last subject I need to address is five hours long, twenty eight minutes longer
the greatest objection you will adhere to is nothing shorter than time left on the clock
where do I go from there?
In Rockets, your name spells out the favorite place in my perspective
In Space, you become my version of a perfect persona to play the role
of the one I never knew was there
I have to reduce the space to get you here
through the day we need to race for commitment
don’t believe that I’m committed to forgetting you
In Reality, I Swear this is only the second page in the prelude
prior to what you don’t know
this is all you’ve discovered
as my story continues on, my dear protagonist

Restart My Heart

fading through the violence
reset my feet on the ground
pavement seems less concrete
every one is now against a wall

fading the line she can’t resist
slowly it disappears and she
trips over the fishing lure
every day is now against the clock

fading the hairline as time goes by
I restart this broken car
leaving this broken town
every mile is another fight I will encounter

fading the background noise
my head falls against a more permanent home
trusting the ground that I will never leave again
every body is another liar just showing up for a card

fading your face into the foreground
my eyes degauss your face
you used your jumper cables
every picture I paint you will paint yourself in

Early This Afternoon [Estimated Time of Arrival]

the left side of this conversation,
stopped listening five minutes ago
so lets just,
take it slow
I never thought that I could be this way

the right side of the bed, collapsed and became the center
your attention up here please, the show is about to begin
so lets just,
take it slow
I never thought that we would, turn out this way

if I’m just too lazy
then don’t beat yourself up
I’m just not up to it
but I still be missing you baby

if I’m too sleazy for my own good
then turn out your heart for a cleansing
I’m just not up to it
but I’m still beating myself up to remember you

the left side of this conversation
stopped listening five minutes ago
but the right side of the argument
had a point facing their temple
rushing through their face at 160

lonely, rushed and anxious – this city is nothing
more than just a jail cell
early this afternoon we shall see who still remains
prisoner

broken by the wristwatch,
the wrist watches it hands snap at others
through the end of this ride
all involved will ask just one last question

where do wind up in the end?
as awkward silence falls upon,
somehow dramatically
I will pronounce “nowhere”