Somewhere At Sail (#5)

Once, when I was young
I thought I could learn to make sense of everything that happened around me,
I found out that I was just an island

I found I could never change
With every push to stop
I was pulled away
Waves of motion, carried us to the sea

Surrounded by the trees, the leaves
You just couldn’t wait to leave
The life around us crawled down our spine
And reminded us that the main land was always fine

How could I have known that in your past you came past this place I now call home?
Like a pair of explorers I was lost
Somewhere at sea,
Instead of in the places I need to be

I’ve been waiting for the day you say it worked out just fine
And that you got yours and that I got mine
Without my compass,
I’ll never find my way

So I guess I will keep navigating the land
If you keep exploring the sea,
Just remember these words,
And promise to always remember me

(1825 and counting)

If You’re Reading This

Is it too much to say to an audience of one
That nobody is listening anymore?
That the abandoned buildings came
When nobody left

Skylines started falling,
But the frame work stayed in place
Approaching standards
We all got carried away

If this is all the work of the devil
Why is this the intention?
At the bottom of our ships
We wade tides that once pulled us under

Is it too much to ask for a glass of ice water?
We all deserve to face our liars and whom only aimed to harm us?

If you’re reading this, my signs were posted
Maybe these halls would remember
The exact words we all said
When it would never happen to us

If you’re reading this,
Consider it my last call
My last chance to help you see the world through broken eyes

My letters sent but I paid no postage, just be held up in someone else presence,
If the light shines through,
Will you be the one staring back?

If you’re reading this,
With no way to quit believing
Continued your way
Moving through the motions that changed our lives

My only way to say
I’ve taken more than just time to try and understand
But I really must be going,

If you’re reading this,
Just remember it’s only selfish to want
It’s absolutely necessary to need
Turning the pages back to the start

My darkest hour,
Held up by batteries and connected machinery
If the light still shines for you
maybe someday it will shine for me too

If you’re reading this
and we’ve lost all of the games we play,
Packed right are the things we packed away
We’ve been ready to move away, and be replaced with mirrors with no reflection

If you’re reading this,
And all of the beaches sands have been washed away, and replaced with empty shells
May you remember me

If you’re reading this
And all of your thoughts have been washed away,
Look back for me, pretend these words no longer matter
And remember all we used to be

The Misunderstanding of Making Progress

We’d fight to be fought,
Learn to live to be forgot
Right where these are hands,
These are what’s holding us still
Because this is night without the sun until

Our levels are higher than they’ve ever been
But until you are here, I am lonely until then

They say I’m going crazy trying to become normal,
But normal is just a crazed conviction of state

The misunderstanding of making progress
In times of not making enough to get by
At times it’s enough to me more than I ever had
The needle in the haystack
But with sharp eyes, I finally found myself
Missing the point you always made
That we were fit to make this

Progress isn’t where you are,
It’s who you’ve been


I’ve spent a lot more time driving,
Took the wrong road down to healing
Just trying to hide from my ghosts
Looking for the coast that I’ve never seen

We stood attached to balloons in masses,
Let go of our cultures classes
We took a stand for our children,
As we stood on graves of others

We won’t ever attend each others funerals,
As ten years have passed and the barrels still say construction,
I’ve been on this for far to long and I’ve never seen an exit
Just to let me turn around on me letting you down

I’ve spent a lot more time driving,
Took the long road back to home
Just to find you holding a balloon
Let go as my time approaches

We will never fly,
Despite what my dreams keep telling me
There is no strings, but gravity keeps getting to me
And my equal space tells me we are both the same

We tear at each other with rope,
Expecting to get up off the ground
I’ve been at this for years, and the simple thought of tape
Let go of the hands that you can never stop

I’ve spent a lot more time thinking about this than you have,
Took the wrong clocks with me wherever I went
Just to find I was always where I should’ve been
Let go of all the memories

Softly tied to spend more time letting go
Done the hard way

One Last Time

This isn’t goodbye forever,
Just goodbye for now
But I’ll probably never write another line about how I’m hurt and broken
How badly I sit on my words and I’m badly choking
Wanting to tell the world how I’ve been finding words that can’t be spoken

If I ever wrote about you,
I’m sorry
If I ever said a bad thing,
I’m sorry

I went through hell trying to find my way up
I was just looking for my sidekick
Unlike a lot of dudes I was never looking for my side chick
Just someone to love and never let go
But there’s so much pain I had I just didn’t know

And I’d sit down with some pen and paper
Thinking about how can’t believe her
Breaking it off after a week or a month and even a year
How I thought they had it easy and didn’t shed a tear

And I thought I could show the world just how terrible you really were
How you’d leave a man without a single care
And I never looked through their eyes
They were probably more torn up than I

How would I know?
I’d wait around for the message to come
The “I’m so sorry, I’m a monster”
But I refused to look in the mirror
Because I wasn’t a man, just a boy in fear

So I’m sorry to every friendship I ever lost,
To every burned bridge
And the collapsed tunnels
I just wanted you to know I cared

This isn’t goodbye but I’m done writing
I want to live a happy life without fighting
I wanted to save the world
But I lived my life sleeping on the moon

If I ever wrote about you then you somehow mattered
Even for a minute or two
My mind circled around you

In Another Space

She dreams of stars and asteroids,
wonders how many of them exist
what if there is life somewhere else?
else wise, we only know of ourselves

is there any more like ours?
out in the infinite,
there must be something;
that is the only thing she thinks about

there; a single star opens her eyes
must it be the brightest?
be it for rockets or for kites,
another dreamer is looking at the sky

billion light years, could we ever get there?
worlds like ours must be trying to find us
And rockets get stuck in our atmosphere
though we have found ways to escape

she thinks of places that no one has seen;
sees the clouds and says the sun is out
the clouds are never in her way
stars, she says, are someone else’s star

she believes in worlds I’ve never been,
wants the closest heavens;
her name they’ll never forget,
own the stars, she says tonight

rocket ships fly through time and space,
so come with me and leave this place;
some people don’t ever wonder;
day ends with night, when the sky is out

she asks if planets are close like the moon;
might she ever get to see the stars;
get a closer look at someone’s world
a million more might exist

chance to see what else exists;
to feel in love with another galaxy,
touch another star
the clouds will have to thicken;
moon light always shine through

In Having Faith in Fate

Should I shadow you in her footsteps,
Follow her shadows in your path
Had I lost the chance to say goodnight,
To you tonight my love would never lose you

In having faith that some day I would breathe again,
To see you looking through my eyes
I could feel the air going through me once again
I never once believed in these smaller things

Should I wade in the ocean, with sharks swimming at my feet?
Knowing deep down, my heart is deep down way underneath?
Had I lost my way, I may never have found this beautiful place,
To you tonight, my heart once led me down this road

In having faith in fate,
I knew that with God one day
I could see you,
And you not see me in my worst of way

Should you sit by her doorknob,
Follow her hand as it changes everything in this room,
Had she held her head up, and her eyes caught mine
To heaven and back I’d go, just to pass you by, my moon

In having faith in fate,
To become a man I knew I would see
As my father once believed
This is the gravity, this is the real me

Up and Around the Broken Cross; and Again

​He never said what colors we would see,
Only that if we saw them that we were blessed,
In whichever arrangement we find our flowers, they are pleasantly presented to us at our go arounds
She was up in the middle of the night, holding onto to him one last time for her dearest life,
Remembering the feeling of air brushing through her hair
Hating the feeling she could never let go
For the wolves came knocking, and we waited in our own skin under the wool
Thinking you’d always stay was what made me the ultimate fool
In the morning, it was always up and around
Understanding the strength of the trees about the town
Upon the cross, one of the beams came falling down
I thought I was the only one falling apart,
For in your mourning, it was always again and again
Follow your heart as the wind chased away your ability to breathe,
It seems so distant,
For the miles and mountains that once held us away and the fires coming closer to you are so willing to take you with them
I’m only still watching the wind
Here she laid upon this bed,
Holding back her tears
And in her head
Lived her longest fears
Upon his chest,
The hardest beating from the heart that swallows most,
Time to let go of the love that was the best
The hardest thing to say was goodbye to the wife whom is addressed in this post
Up and around the broken cross, and again
I’m still waiting your trains arrival
At the platform of my heart


With every word…
You say these things to me,
All I hear is goodbye
Looking out on the night…
When said those words to you,
All you hear is goodnight
I want to find you again…
Contorted to know,
All my dreams follow
I know you’re somewhere out there…
That it would be right,
All of our nights
You everything I thought it could be…
For us to just try one more time,
All of our dreams
Worlds a part of yours now too…
Just for her to know,
All of the times
And it kills me to say
That I have no air left to breathe
I’ll never kiss her goodnight.

I’m Going To Make It Worth Your Time To Waste Mine

I was waiting by the sun,
Thought that we weren’t done
But it seems to me to always be
That things don’t I see are what I’m supposed to see,
They told me not to move,
Because I had nothing left to lose,
But that’s not true

Do you remember when we talked last July,
And you said it was all just a lie?
It never was, it never was a waste of time
If you ever loved me you really should have tried,
I remember you saying it was worth my time

Remember packing up,
All the things that you left behind?
The memories impossible for you to find
The hours would change, and so would I,
But I’ve slept so many sleepless nights,

I’m going to make it worth your time, to profoundly come waste mine,
I’ve got an old love burning,
With no hope of turning;
The wedding bells aren’t crashing,
But all hell is lashing
The sins I am, the things I’ve been wrong
The world won’t ever hear a single song

Remember how it changed?
You left a whole world completely rearranged,
Upside down, and the clocks couldn’t tick,
The songbirds came from far away,
They came just today

And remember every stupid line,
About how your heart needs mine?
Well obviously it’s doing just fine

But can you make it make sense,
How you explain to all your friends,
About the guy who loved you most
That as time flew by, you denied me mine,
You were everything that I once had,

I’ll make it worth hers to put me in a hearse,
She can watch me go down below,
Six feet of pure dirt walls,
And I’ll fix the things that I couldn’t change,
But last of all I’ll fix the things that you gave away