In Your Absence (version 2)

In Your Absence

In the coldest corners,
Our minds venture ways
Blame always carries hate

Now you’ve left the world in search of somewhere new
Hoping to find that there may be another you

We wait as long as we are told,
Carried away
We’ve gotten too old

Exposed,
Cold lies to the truth
A forgotten face,
Forgot how to live in this broken place

Halls trace my bitterness,
Sleep still haunts me

I’ve become the lion in the cage,
As I’m surrounded,
Surrender
Forgot how to leave this broken place

In your absence,
I’ve grown apart from myself
(I don’t even blame you anymore)
I’ve looked back at the man in the mirror
But he doesn’t look the same way

In your absence I’ve found the silence deafening
How many words never wee said after all
How could she ever know?
That I was the reason that you had to go

Stockholm,
I’m not locking you up
But I’m locking down

Stockholm,
I’m lost without your guide
I’m still stuck here trying to find

I fall in love with every stranger I see now
Thinking that they will always be the ones to hurt me
Hoping that the ones I know will never be the ones to go

A place in the world,
I’ve buried my fears of living through self control
Holes of our halves

And I think I’m the crazy one

In your absence,
I’ve finally become fond of myself again
In this void,
I’ve finally found myself again
Living in the fear of never seeing you again

And how somehow that would hurt less

But in your absence
I’ve grown fonder,
I’ve gone longer,
Become a better man
And a better father
I gave myself another chance
Standing strong at a taller stance
Forgiven myself and forgiven others

In your absence I’ve become lost again
But I found my way up,
And I let go of the pictures of you
I’ve let go of the the things that we had

For me it wasn’t easy
Because of you, I’ve become me

In your absence my heart has grown cold
The cage it sits in no longer is it’s protection
As love is no longer the intention

How many times will it beat?
Will it serve a new life on the street?
As the clowns look down and see that it always wasn’t me

In your absence,
I’ve become a different monster,
From being deranged to being silent
Void of an open voice

As I sit in my wonders,
I cry in curiosity
Pretending to know that I ever knew
Exactly who you are

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