My Hat (Original Version)

My hat is hung on the stray bullets that barely missed,
Swerved just left and saved a kid
Had her feet collided with me we would’ve been gone, that’s for sure
Then I hung my hat on the stray bullets that missed her

If you think about it, you’ll break your own heart
And at times like those, it pays to be heartless
My way home doesn’t look the same now,
Now that my memories are dirtied by the clips

My hat is hung on the stray bullets of a mad man,
Suspended in time, waiting while we watch
Hours pass us by in just seconds, as they were spent in chambers
Then I hung my hat on the stray bullets of a dead man

Our words crossed out the moments they fell
And at times like those, it paid to be helpless
My way to the back, pushing through the still
Now I fear memories that were dirtied by the clips

The Misunderstanding of Making Progress

We’d fight to be fought,
Learn to live to be forgot
Right where these are hands,
These are what’s holding us still
Because this is night without the sun until

Our levels are higher than they’ve ever been
But until you are here, I am lonely until then

They say I’m going crazy trying to become normal,
But normal is just a crazed conviction of state

The misunderstanding of making progress
In times of not making enough to get by
At times it’s enough to me more than I ever had
You
The needle in the haystack
But with sharp eyes, I finally found myself
Missing the point you always made
That we were fit to make this

Progress isn’t where you are,
It’s who you’ve been

The Walls We Are #3

Stay and put,
As we stare at our coverings – painted;
Changed

Through their eyes we are in need of change
With water has brought on our decay
In places – we’ve stayed in ours for far too long

Remember being young?
Bare naked,
Handled by hands whom held so many others?

Those nights we got nailed and plastered but then so quickly abandoned
We sat as others passed us by
Before anyone ever took us for granted again

They dressed us with our coverings,
They added still moments while living in the moments
Now, as she pushes her hands on my chest,
I remember that I am only just the walls

I don’t put the roof over her head nor am I the foundation that keeps us from falling apart,
I keep the wind off her back and in a day she could tear me up and replace me

She could change my coverings and I wouldn’t be the wiser
But as long as she can lean on me I can feel like an important part of the home

Strings

I’ve spent a lot more time driving,
Took the wrong road down to healing
Just trying to hide from my ghosts
Looking for the coast that I’ve never seen

We stood attached to balloons in masses,
Let go of our cultures classes
We took a stand for our children,
As we stood on graves of others

We won’t ever attend each others funerals,
As ten years have passed and the barrels still say construction,
I’ve been on this for far to long and I’ve never seen an exit
Just to let me turn around on me letting you down

I’ve spent a lot more time driving,
Took the long road back to home
Just to find you holding a balloon
Let go as my time approaches

We will never fly,
Despite what my dreams keep telling me
There is no strings, but gravity keeps getting to me
And my equal space tells me we are both the same

We tear at each other with rope,
Expecting to get up off the ground
I’ve been at this for years, and the simple thought of tape
Let go of the hands that you can never stop

I’ve spent a lot more time thinking about this than you have,
Took the wrong clocks with me wherever I went
Just to find I was always where I should’ve been
Let go of all the memories

Softly tied to spend more time letting go
Done the hard way

One Last Time

This isn’t goodbye forever,
Just goodbye for now
But I’ll probably never write another line about how I’m hurt and broken
How badly I sit on my words and I’m badly choking
Wanting to tell the world how I’ve been finding words that can’t be spoken

If I ever wrote about you,
I’m sorry
If I ever said a bad thing,
I’m sorry

I went through hell trying to find my way up
I was just looking for my sidekick
Unlike a lot of dudes I was never looking for my side chick
Just someone to love and never let go
But there’s so much pain I had I just didn’t know

And I’d sit down with some pen and paper
Thinking about how can’t believe her
Breaking it off after a week or a month and even a year
How I thought they had it easy and didn’t shed a tear

And I thought I could show the world just how terrible you really were
How you’d leave a man without a single care
And I never looked through their eyes
They were probably more torn up than I

How would I know?
I’d wait around for the message to come
The “I’m so sorry, I’m a monster”
But I refused to look in the mirror
Because I wasn’t a man, just a boy in fear

So I’m sorry to every friendship I ever lost,
To every burned bridge
And the collapsed tunnels
I just wanted you to know I cared

This isn’t goodbye but I’m done writing
I want to live a happy life without fighting
I wanted to save the world
But I lived my life sleeping on the moon

If I ever wrote about you then you somehow mattered
Even for a minute or two
My mind circled around you

The Lines of Liars Who Took on the Thieves That Took You Away

It’s been so long now, my mind lets go of the details
That if I could sing you a song, I wouldn’t be able to start
I look through windows and wonder if I could ever fit
I’m too long gone to ever make it up

As the days pass, these people come and go
There are so many people, and yet some I wish I could know
I walked away, one last hug, one last kiss
We said our goodbyes, one last time, forever

I walked around many cities and many towns,
None of them ever being what you’d call home
And though I’ve never carried you, there was one promise I carried through;
That I didn’t let the pain take me alive

I’m sure you’ve been walking around,
Holding hands with another man,
Maybe even one to take my place
But if I’ve got one last string to be cut, I’d watch it through the windowpanes

Three, the silence of being broken
The words in agreement of placing such silence
As I couldn’t make you float
I’ve just never been that good at being supportive

Two, the words of being spoken
The silence in agreement of placing such distance
As I couldn’t make you fly
I’ve just never been that good at being supported

One, the lines of liars who took on the thieves that took you away,
But I’ve gone too long to make it up

The Hidden Places

She said she wanted to go out,
To get out and see the other world
She looked for the stars in the sky
And only saw black;

Hidden among the moon the clouds won’t move,
They are afraid of showing their true lights
That no matter how far they get they never seem to escape
But there is no gravity

She said she wanted to live again,
That among the sun there must be another world
But as we fly closer we’ve never felt so far;

Until then, I’ll just be hidden
From you, the only one who believes;
The places that we will see
Just don’t be hidden from me

Incomplete: Untitled #16

It’s late and I’m early for a dose of your love,
So pray me back to sleep, oh God
How close to glory have I been brought?
I ask you to bring me to the life I need,
Anxiously I withhold saying three simple words, but it’s only eight letters.

Tell me no,
As the beautiful sun you portray light,
The moon always turns its back away,
I never thought two thousand miles would become so far away,

I pray God,
Don’t let me die tonight from the broken
Swear to me tomorrow will be better

Fallen

Remember when you walked away and you thought the door was always open?
The sound of the hinges creaking as our views changed?
How the wind moved through your hair making it harder to see?
How the rain made you cold and warm at the same time?

I watched as you looked ahead
I heard the pieces of the world fall in to place
And I saw your delusions
I felt the moisture holding you

Remember how you said it was for the best?
Did you feel the words tripping over your teeth as they bounced off your tongue?
How you couldn’t look me in the eyes?
How you couldn’t breathe and stop panting at the same time?

I didn’t have any words quite like yours,
I could hear the hallways from your heart to your mind scatter,
Those windows broke, and the souls slowly faded away
And I just sat there, falling

I had fallen apart
I had questions that you could never answer
So I had to answer them myself
Where did I go wrong?
Why can’t I just hear a song,
Without thinking about how you strung me along

I had fallen apart,
Scrambling looking for all of me
And my broken pieces

Should’ve

Should it be lost today,
Let the horizon sit crooked over the plains

Should it be lost today,
Let the moon sink like sand to the hollow ground

Should it be lost today,
Let the worlds winds come to a brief stop

Just to throw you away

Should I sit alone again,
Might I sit crooked over the end of the plains

Should I sit alone again,
Might I let the moon sink down beneath the surface I stand

Should I sit alone again,
Might I feel the worlds winds spin up my spine

Then the press of your love is gone

Should the sky fail to show the light,
I’ll wait around again

Should the sky fail to show the light,
I’ll fall in love again

Should the sky fail to show the light,
I’ll fly to you again

These hands used to hold on to dear life

And I felt alone again,
Deserted from the moment that I walked away

And I felt alone again,
Deserted in the most public of places

And I felt alone again,
Deserted in my own skin

As my soul departed I could see how small of an impact I made on the world

And all of the things I should’ve done
When I had a chance

And all of the things I should’ve done
When I had something left to prove

And all of the things I should’ve done
When I had my arms around you

But in terms of letting go,
I’m holding on to you