Fallen

Remember when you walked away and you thought the door was always open?
The sound of the hinges creaking as our views changed?
How the wind moved through your hair making it harder to see?
How the rain made you cold and warm at the same time?

I watched as you looked ahead
I heard the pieces of the world fall in to place
And I saw your delusions
I felt the moisture holding you

Remember how you said it was for the best?
Did you feel the words tripping over your teeth as they bounced off your tongue?
How you couldn’t look me in the eyes?
How you couldn’t breathe and stop panting at the same time?

I didn’t have any words quite like yours,
I could hear the hallways from your heart to your mind scatter,
Those windows broke, and the souls slowly faded away
And I just sat there, falling

I had fallen apart
I had questions that you could never answer
So I had to answer them myself
Where did I go wrong?
Why can’t I just hear a song,
Without thinking about how you strung me along

I had fallen apart,
Scrambling looking for all of me
And my broken pieces

Should’ve

Should it be lost today,
Let the horizon sit crooked over the plains

Should it be lost today,
Let the moon sink like sand to the hollow ground

Should it be lost today,
Let the worlds winds come to a brief stop

Just to throw you away

Should I sit alone again,
Might I sit crooked over the end of the plains

Should I sit alone again,
Might I let the moon sink down beneath the surface I stand

Should I sit alone again,
Might I feel the worlds winds spin up my spine

Then the press of your love is gone

Should the sky fail to show the light,
I’ll wait around again

Should the sky fail to show the light,
I’ll fall in love again

Should the sky fail to show the light,
I’ll fly to you again

These hands used to hold on to dear life

And I felt alone again,
Deserted from the moment that I walked away

And I felt alone again,
Deserted in the most public of places

And I felt alone again,
Deserted in my own skin

As my soul departed I could see how small of an impact I made on the world

And all of the things I should’ve done
When I had a chance

And all of the things I should’ve done
When I had something left to prove

And all of the things I should’ve done
When I had my arms around you

But in terms of letting go,
I’m holding on to you

O.D. Friends

We will kill the pain at its roots
Find the flaw in you and pull it through
And I’ll open up your eyes and cover them in glass
So the world you will see won’t be the same

You will be able to breathe again
Just keeping dosing up
If they tell you otherwise, shop is closing up and the summer leaves will be here sooner than later

Have them read you your rights and ask them to ask your ass goodbye
Leaving town and the heads go rolling

With This

With this photo of you I’ll hold on to;
Memories of your youth I once knew
Helpless like weeds, you’ve taken over my health
And I wait for water to keep me breathing,
I see your roots getting thicker

With this photo of you I’ll hold on to;
Memories of laughter before you knew what was funny,
Hopeless like fire, you’ve taken over my health
And I wait for water to drown me,
I see your lungs getting air

With this photo of you I’ll hold on to;
Memories of tears before you knew what was happening
Fearful like men of ghosts, you’ve taken over my health
And I wait for safety to find me,
I see your eyes closing again

In our last goodbyes we held on like the bridge was just our launchpad
And we felt like concrete,
To the shores we thank for holding us again
And to the sand for bringing us in

Parallels

Chalked up, the distance the line runs
Parallel; I find your outline next
City streets found deserted in the city that never sleeps

I lost you in sequence,
And as I heard the bullets going by,
I rushed in to save you

Sirens wailing while the crowd gathers
They don’t even know our names,
But they stare at our fates
Wondering if they know our face

Pushed back, we are held back from line
These liars never heard a thing
And the man who got away

Painted us in signs screaming they will never forget,
But the children who lived won’t know any different
All I wanted to do was keep you here
But we were meant to live different lives after all

I lost you in distance
Just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist
And I’ve always believed in this

In Another Space

She dreams of stars and asteroids,
wonders how many of them exist
what if there is life somewhere else?
else wise, we only know of ourselves

is there any more like ours?
out in the infinite,
there must be something;
that is the only thing she thinks about

there; a single star opens her eyes
must it be the brightest?
be it for rockets or for kites,
another dreamer is looking at the sky

billion light years, could we ever get there?
worlds like ours must be trying to find us
And rockets get stuck in our atmosphere
though we have found ways to escape

she thinks of places that no one has seen;
sees the clouds and says the sun is out
the clouds are never in her way
stars, she says, are someone else’s star

she believes in worlds I’ve never been,
wants the closest heavens;
her name they’ll never forget,
own the stars, she says tonight

rocket ships fly through time and space,
so come with me and leave this place;
some people don’t ever wonder;
day ends with night, when the sky is out

she asks if planets are close like the moon;
might she ever get to see the stars;
get a closer look at someone’s world
a million more might exist

chance to see what else exists;
to feel in love with another galaxy,
touch another star
the clouds will have to thicken;
moon light always shine through

Lighthouse

Razors cross across our face,
Chained to the desire to be clean;
To relive floating towards emptiness,
The water never cooperated

Hands cross our hearts
Of hopes crossing our tides.
Those looking for openness freezing;
Who could save such hopeless souls?

Never again, the ship sunk below the surface,
Thought the unsinkable banners meant forever
They never meant a word that was said,
Would we break looking for the sea?

Be it the waves that push us together
Free from the lights searching for our lost souls;

And again we laid upon a broken bed of needles
We fought to hold in our blood,
Lied about never being dead,
About ever facing needles to turn our canvas;

Our lighthouse felt the water kissing its facade,
Bleeding out from our hearts;
Hearts that were never quite fixed

Incomplete: The River

I fell in love with the sound of the river
So I swam in love with the current pushing me away
I just wanted to fall in love,
I loved the sound of it all, didn’t I?

I was so far away before I found rock bottom
And through the trees all I could see was tunnels

To find the truth,
Dig deeper; well below the surface

I heard you were lovely
But I never thought you would love me,
I heard your songs,
So I dove in

“Wardrobes”

…the sunset. That’s what she called him. Because he was the darkness that evaded us.

“Do you even know what we want?” She shouted at me while I was washing the stove off. “We want distance” we are apoplectic next to the other. 

… the cold wet steps from the length of the shower to the bedroom, every steamy step met the floor in it’s own place. Sometimes getting put in an inescapable position can really hurt some one. 

We all look for wardrobes. Somewhere we can find another world in, even if it is just momentary. We could all go far with our heart. Love, is all I want. 

She took a diamond ring, that was how I convinced her.

She stopped following me… sooner than later. She walked away, escaped, this was the one I knew would stay.

I couldn’t learn how to forgive myself, that was the worst. I couldn’t take one step in front of the other to see how broken the nest really was, and there probably not anyone there by his side.

Not tonight.

She thinks she was broke…

She was wrong… we were broken. 

As if the fluctuating of our pulses will find us home, our melody was silent, but sang to the highest heavens.

The idea that was you walking back. 

She will break you. The same way she broke me.

In Your Absence

In your absence,
I’ve finally become fond of myself again

In Your Absence

A place in the heart,
May forever be
A place where our love was
All of the nights gone by won’t be the forgotten ones

Exposed,
Cold lies to the truth
A forgotten face,
Forgot how to live in this broken place

Halls trace my bitterness,
Sleep still haunts me

I’ve become the lion in the cage,
As I’m surrounded,
Surrender
Forgot how to leave this broken place

In your absence,
I’ve grown apart from myself
I don’t even blame you anymore

In your absence I’ve found the silence deafening
How could she ever know?
That I was the reason that you had to go

Stockholm,
I’m not locking you up
But I’m locking down

I fall in love with every stranger I see now
Thinking that they will always be the ones to hurt me
Hoping that the ones I know will never be the ones to go

A place in the world,
I’ve buried my fears of living through self control
Holes of our halves

And I think I’m the crazy one

In your absence,
I’ve finally become fond of myself again
In this void,
I’ve finally found myself again
Living in the fear of never seeing you again

And how somehow that would hurt less

But in your absence
I’ve grown fonder,
I’ve gone longer,
Become a better man
And a better father
I gave myself another chance
Standing strong at a taller stance
Forgiven myself and forgiven others

In your absence I’ve become lost again
But I found my way up,
And I let go of the pictures of you
I’ve let go of the the things that we had

For me it wasn’t easy
Because of you, I’ve become me